
Last night my husband and I went to a neighbor's house as they were having an early St. Patrick's Day Party and being Lent we thought we would just stay for a bit to be neighborly. I noticed a woman in her early 50's standing up rocking a newborn back and forth with her 16 yr. old daughter standing by her side.
I went over to see the baby and was startled when I realized it was made of plastic.
I didn't know what to say as the woman was cooing at it and her daughter was tucking the blanket up around the plastic dolls neck as though it were a real baby. I immediately thought that perhaps the woman was mentally ill and just smiled, kindly.
She laughed when she saw my expression of shock and said, "It's not a real baby. It's my daughter's." I still looked perplexed.
The 16 yr. old explained that she had to take care of this plastic doll for 6 weeks to get a good grade in her "Health Class".
"We're each given a $500.00 computerized baby doll (Yes, $500.00) that cries and poops and everything so we can see how hard it is to take care of a baby. So hopefully we won't get pregnant."
I didn't even want to ask (as I was sure I knew the answer) but I went ahead and asked what high school she went to and of course it's one of our "illustrious" Catholic girls' high schools here in St. Louis where the "cultural" Catholics are ever so proud to send their boys and girls...that status thing here in St. Louis. The school is called "Ursuline Academy" run by...you got it...Ursuline Nuns. St. Ursula, pray for us.
A
NURSERY
CRIME
Sing a song of six-pense,
Rubbers in the pocket,
Having sex with consequence
Isn't in our docket.
Four and twenty blackbirds,
No bun in oven bake,
'Cause we have heard our teachers' words
Safe sex no babies make.
When our pie is open,
We'll sing and shrill like birds.
For Health Class taught us copin'...
Skills with plastic turds.
Now isn't that a dainty dish
To set before our King ---
The crucifixion, His death wish
But nuns know everything!