Ascension Thursday (American-Style)

...AND THE PURSUIT

Ascension Thursday's Sunday.
Corpus Christi got the boot.
And this year, since it's Saturday,
All Saints' Day will be moot.

'Cause Saturday's by Sunday.
And Monday just won't scoot
And two days in a row for God
That's yielding too much fruit.

So if we play our cards right,
Let money trump all suits,
We'll end all militant Sundays
Obliging happy pursuits.